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Supporting my child who does not talk in some situations

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Your child may talk at home but find it hard to speak in other places or with other people. With understanding and gentle support, your child can build confidence and feel more comfortable communicating in different situations.

More about supporting my child who does not talk in some situations

Sometimes, a child can chat easily at home but find it very hard to speak in other places, like school or with people they don’t know well. This is often called selective mutism. It means a child can talk but may find it difficult to speak in some situations.

This can happen for different reasons. Many children feel worried about speaking, especially in new or busy situations. Changes, pressure to talk, or worrying about getting things wrong can make it harder for a child to speak.

It can be hard to understand why your child speaks in some situations but not others. Not speaking in some situations may affect your child's learning, friendships and daily life. It can feel frustrating when other people do not understand what your child is going through.

Speak to a health or education professional if your child struggles to speak in some situations and this is not improving with time.

Questions and answers

Why does my child talk at home but not in other places?
Some children talk with people they know well but find it hard to speak at nursery, school or around people they do not know. Your child may feel very worried or unable to speak. They are not choosing to stay quiet.
Is this just shyness, or something more?
Some children need time before they speak in a new place. As they become more comfortable, they usually start talking. If your child is unable to talk in certain situations, such as at nursery or school, and this continues over time, it may be a sign that they need extra support. Ask a health or education professional for advice if this is affecting your child's learning, friendships or daily life.
Can pressure to speak make it harder?
Repeatedly asking your child to speak, even in a gentle way, can make them feel more anxious. Children often find it easier to talk when they feel calm, understood and under no pressure.
How can I help my child communicate more easily?
Stay calm and give your child time. Show them that you understand speaking may feel difficult. Let your child point, nod, use gestures or communicate with pictures. Accept these ways of communicating and avoid asking them to speak if they do not feel ready. Follow familiar routines and take small steps. Praise your child's effort to join in, not just whether they spoke.
When should I get help for my child?
Speak to a health advisor, GP, or your child's school or nursery if your child cannot speak in some situations and this is not improving with time. It is also important to get help if it is affecting their learning, friendships or daily life. Early support can help your child feel more confident and find ways to communicate that work for them.

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